Some Points Derived from the Above Mentioned Marriage
1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shari‘ah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
2. To unnecessarily delay nikāh of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of nikāh. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
5. If the father of the girl is an ‘ālim or pious and capable of performing nikāh, then he should himself solemnize the marriage.
6. It is better to give the Mahr Fātimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
7. It is totally un-Islāmic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
8. It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasūlullāh sallallahu alayhi wasallam?
9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shari‘ah.
10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and mendhi parties in Islām.
11. Great care must be taken as regards to salāh on occasions of marriage by all – the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shari‘ah.
14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur’ānic law of hijāb.
15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of nikāh:i) Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest, for such presents);ii) To give necessary items;iii) A show should not be made of whatever is given.
17. It is Sunnah for the bridegroom’s family to make walimah.
NOTE: In walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay nikāh after the engagement is un-Islamic.
We should remember that walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated;v It is contrary to sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride’s people. We should always remember that our Rasūl sallallahu alayhi wasallam did not give ‘Ali radiyallahu anhu anything except du‘ā.